This is me...

I have been hesitant to sprawl my fingers across the keyboard that have grown far too familiar.

 Millions of mixed thoughts and feelings rummage through my mind as doubts and regrets flow.

Alas, I am the girl that sits reviewing the smiles on pretty girls and bold boys talk just as the babbling brook in my backyard. 

I no longer sit in the back of the classroom, but I still eat alone.

I am not a superhero. I am not an excellent writer.

I had envy eyes as I read Carolina Liar, Courtney Rome, Adeline Stone, La Luna, Just Korra, and Eva Peron. But love and admire them so. 

I never made it on the top five or hashtag stolen.

But I know that I have held back. In fear, worrying no one was reading.

Everyone has a creative side whether they choose to believe that or not.

I am the girl who kisses the night in hopes another is kissing too.

I am the girl who doesn't wear what she wants because of fear and self consciousness. 

I am nothing what people labeled me.

Labels I am sure you have been labeled as well.

Fat. Ugly. Stupid. Not good enough. Try-hard. Copy-cat. Fag. The list goes on and on.

I have also been labeled as: beautiful, a beautiful writer, colorful, kind-hearted.

Can you guess which ones I believed? 

I am not my diseases that tries to shade me a color of monotonous grey that capes the beauty of the world.

I am the pitch in my laughter, the inky brown in my eyes.

I am the playlist I keep in my head for every situation.

 "Nothing breaks a being more than questioning who they are. While trying to ignore what they should be." A quote from my dear friend, Kassandra Griscoe.

A part of me I never knew I would treasure.

But, this is me.

The girl who loves driving late at night with the windows down and the moon kissing the road, the wind thrashing against her skin.

The girl who loves too deeply and falls too quickly.

Who wants to hear the world and the world hear her, but is too scared.

The girl who has learned it is okay to open up and expose yourself to be viewed as an art exhibit.

The girl who wishes for you to stay to learn more about.

You see, I am just like you. That is another thing I have learned; even in the same classroom but different seats, we are all the same.

I admire the moon and the stars.

I admire all of you.

Thank you.

And thank you Kassandra, for igniting the flames within my childhood and becoming real just as me.

With all of my love,

Katie Taylor

Stairway to Heaven

I'm on the stairway to heaven. Even though my scars are heavy. I am a warrior. I don't want to lose control, I don't want to be stone cold. 

Its been a while since I can say I wasn't addicted to you. 

My heart goes into slow motion as my mind melts away. I am still here. These words may fool you, but I am beginning to be happy. My demons are shifting into the corner. I still call out; hello, can anyone hear me? Misery, is jealous of my happy eyes. There are many things I can tell you that I don't want. 

I don't want to fade away, I don't want to just be another brick in the wall. I don't want to tear away. 

I am learning how to be a black bird; "take these broken wings and learn to fly." Just as John Lennon had said.

Depression makes me wanna die sometimes. 

But I am still here. 

Alone

Alone. Alone.

Dear God, I am so alone. 

No one understands because no one sees me.

No one hears me. 

I am a ghost. 

A lonely ghost in the night. 

I pray to you.

Are you still there, dear God?

Can you hear my cries?

Alone. 

I am still alone. 

I feel guilty. 

I feel pleased. 

Dear God, will you help the pale sinners on their knees? 

I'm alone. 

We are all alone. So very alone. 

Alone. 

Alone. 

Alone. 

Alone. 

What am I feeling? 

God.. If you are out there.. Please.